Better Than Me
by Kitty-Kat Allie
Summary: Songfic. I normally don't do these, but if you're an emotional wreck like me, you might get teary. Oneshot '"Because thinking of you with him… I wanted to die, too.” The words he hadn’t said tumbled from him now, falling like the tears he wouldn’t let go.


Okay, so I was listening to this song, and I couldn't help it! I had to write a Kiba/Hina. I wonder if it'll have a happy ending?

Better Than Me

_**I think you can do much better than me**_

His black eyes stared up at the ceiling, his hands crossed behind his head. He could vaguely hear the whining of Akamaru out in the hall. But he ignored it. He really didn't care that Akamaru was worried about him, or that Akamaru had been waiting outside his door for the entire day. He didn't care the sun had long set and it was too dark to see the ceiling. He didn't care the phone had rung precisely eighty times, five rings for each call, and sixteen times someone- friend or family- had begged or demanded he answer the phone.

He didn't care her pale eyes had swum with tears or that the door had made their apartment vibrate as he slammed it behind her.

"_Kiba-kun, please, why, why did you lie to me?"_

"You wouldn't have stayed." He whispered to the air. He should've said that then.

"_Can't you trust me? How can I trust you if you won't give _me_ a chance? Kiba-kun, please, look at me!"_

"I wish I could've. God, I wish had." He covered his face with his hand, his fangs baring as he grimaced in pain.

_**After all the lies that I made you believe**_

"_You told me he had a girlfriend! That they were serious, that I didn't have a chance! How could you have lied? I was in so much pain, Kiba-kun, I wanted to die that day! How could you be so selfish?"_

"Because I needed you. Because knowing he wanted you made me sick. Because thinking of you with him… I wanted to die, too." The words he hadn't said tumbled from him now, falling like the tears he wouldn't let go.

The sob that made his chest shudder sent anger coursing through him like fire. He remembered all the words he _had_ said, the obscenities and even worse lies. _"Coward, idiot, whore, fool, go off and get him then, he's yours. Who needs a prudish little bitch like you anyway? A whole goddamn year and you haven't even let me take your shirt off. Cuz of him right, saving yourself for that idiot, you stupid slut, get the hell out!"_

He rose from the bed, his grimace of pain now one of anger.

_  
__**Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be**_

His whipped his head to side, searching- searching for anything. He wanted to break something, tear it apart, scream and yell until the tears went away and there was only rage. His eyes fell to the other side of the bed. The anger leeched away as abruptly as it had come. His black eyes darkened even more with pain and his hand convulsed into a fist.

A pillow covered in lavender lay there. Silly little frills- so stupid, so ridiculous, so adorable- covered the pillow like frosting on a cake. She had lain there, looking over at him with beautiful shining eyes and flushing cheeks. She had reached out a hand and touched his face with shaking fingers, embarrassed and pleased at the closeness. She was smiling, snuggling her cheek into the pillowcase he had bought just for her.

_**I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember**_

He slumped over. A groan tore through his whole body filling his ears. Then, the tears came. Faster and faster, the salty weakness was rushing down his face. They plopped one by one, as loud as rain, on the wooden floor between his feet.

"_I love it, Kiba-kun. I feel so much at home here. I can't wait to be together… forever, Kiba-kun. Thank you. I… I love you, Kiba-kun. I… I really think I do. Please… can't… can't you say it, too?"_

"I couldn't. I couldn't say it. I was too much a coward. I couldn't tell you I loved you if I couldn't tell you the truth about him. That he wanted you, too. I couldn't tell you… I couldn't unless I told you the truth. Damn it…"

_**What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face**_

She had looked up at him, scared and hopeful as the guilt and hope wracked through him. She knew the truth. She heard it every time he smiled at her, every time their eyes met and time stilled, every time he blushed when she touched him, every time his hand caressed her face, but he never said it aloud. She rose up onto her elbows and leaned over him. Her long, silky hair fell around him. A thick strand of it slid over his chest, another glided down the side of his face. The smell of jasmine surrounded him, the smell of bliss, the smell of her.

_**And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this**_

She smiled down at him, a blush on her face.

"_Don't be shy, Kiba-kun. I know already, you know I do. You don't hide it. Just your mouth does. I want to hear you say it, Kiba-kun. Tell me you love me. Tell me you want me here, with you, forever. You know… you know I need to hear it." _

Her fingers brushed over his lips, innocence and breathless anticipation in her touch, in her gaze. Yes, he knew why she needed to hear it. Because he lied to her once… and told her the only man she had ever loved felt nothing for her.

_**You deserve much better than me**_

"_I lied." Was all he could say._

_**While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures I took  
That you were looking for**_

She sobbed wildly. A box lay open by her feet. Papers, a pencil, two erasers, and a bright red pen rolled and scattered over the floor. Her white eyes were too clouded with tears to see the growing mess around her. A cookbook fell to the ground with a loud snap. She shrieked in surprise and jumped, her hands flying into the air. The packets of pictures and scrapbook clippings fluttered to the ground.

"No, no! No, don't! Stop it! Stop it!" She screamed uselessly, grabbing at the flying papers in desperation.

She fell to her knees and sobbed harder, her body rocking with it. Boxes surrounded her, filling her room to the ceiling, taped shut and ready to go. Ready to go to her new home, to her new little apartment, with her brand new bed, and her cute little pillow just for her, and him, with the man who loved her. The man she thought loved her. He made it perfectly clear she was an idiot, that everything she took for granted, his wanting her, his needing her, his loving her, was all a lie. A stupid, useless, cowardly lie. And now she was stuck in a room of boxes and lost expectations.

She slumped over her knees, her long hair trailing over the ground like wild snakes. She looked up and searched in her box of desk supplies for the Kleenex. Finding the box already mostly empty, she searched the ground the under the bed, her nose running all over the hand she had used to stop up the flow. Sniffling, she reached under the bed.

As she began to straighten, pulling out a blue box of tissues, her blurred eyes fell on a smile. Then another- and another and another and another. There were smiles all around her, looking through black and white eyes. She dropped the Kleenex and slowly raised one of the photos to her face. He had his arm around her waist and his cheek against hers. Her face was cherry red and smiling bashfully. He was grinning wickedly. Just seconds later he kissed her in the middle of Konoha. The next picture was a few minutes later. She was sitting daintily on Akamaru's back, smiling as she waved to him. Then, they were together again, Akamaru leaning too hard against the back of her knees and making her lean too hard against him.

He had asked her for these pictures. Over and over again, he kept reminding her to bring them back, but she kept forgetting, putting it off, laughing as he pouted and tickle-attacked her until she screamed for forgiveness. But she was going to move in anyway, she had pointed out. They would be together soon, and they'd share them.

She pressed the picture of the three of them to her forehead as the tears coursed down her cheeks.

_**If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room**_

"_Hinata, come here."_

"_Wh-What, but… what?"_

He had pressed his fingers to her lips and pulled her into his closet, snickering quietly.

"_Your mother is home, please!"_

"_She won't look in here, Hinata."_

"_I-I know, b-but, she's right th-there!"_

"_And I'm right here." _And he smirked wickedly down at her and she blushed from her hairline to her toes.

His lips settled over hers. So gently, begging for her to return the kiss, to open to him. And she had. Embarrassed, excited, more embarrassed for being excited, she had kissed back with growing urgency, loving his kisses, loving his loving. Though Tsume-san was long gone, they stayed wrapped around each other in the dark closet, breathing hard between gasping kisses. He had made her feel so beautiful and wicked. He had made her feel loved and cherished, gentle though he was normally so rough.

"I don't want to forget it. I don't want to forget everything there was and everything is was going to be."

_**I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember**_

He had been so gentle to her. For years and years, he had protected her, cherished her, held her up if she fell, beat her senseless in sparring matches because she told him to, celebrating each victory she made. Wrapping bloody hands in bandages, taking her out on picnics (though she cooked it), and playing fetch with her and Akamaru. Days of bliss, even though she loved another man, he was always there for her.

"Th-that's right. H-he lied! He told me Naruto-kun would have nothing to do with me, that Naruto-kun was dating Sakura-san, that they had left together with Uchiha-san and were never coming back! I almost died a year ago! All because he was selfish!" Hinata shouted to the boxes and the smiles in her hands.

_**What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face**_

But he had come to her those days, a year or more ago. He lied… but he came to her every day. He tried every day to make her laugh. He was torn up, in pain, but he came every day to watch her die and try to convince her to live. He convinced her there was more in life than Naruto-kun and his sunny smile. She was stronger after that. She got off the bed and threw her arms around his, his hair tickling her face as she buried her nose into his scent. And she never looked back. And she had never been happier in her life.

_**And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this**_

Yes, he had been selfish, but… in the end… Naruto-kun had given her up. If he really had wanted to date her, he would've come to ask her, and he never had. She had waited years for the happiness that every moment Naruto-kun said one word to her brought. Her life hinged on Naruto-kun. Now her life belonged to her and her only. But her heart…

He had looked down at her that day she decided to live again. His smile was so real. It had made his whole face shine. She fell madly in love with that smile. She did everything she could to bring him happiness, glorying in the feeling _she_ caused it, that _she_ made _him_ happier than any man in the world. He kissed her like she was made of glass or diamonds, precious and otherworldly. Everything he did was full of love for her, and she missed the taste of love on her lips.

And he had been so gentle. So kind. So patient… for years and years.

_**You deserve much better than me**_

"I-I'm so stupid." She sobbed bitterly. _****_

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over

She suddenly felt so alone. She glanced around the room she had lived in for all her eighteen years. He wasn't there. Though this place had been home for her entire life… without him there… it wasn't home anymore.

Home was a tiny apartment with a crack in the kitchen wall he promised he'd fix. Home had a little red couch she had just bought and was already covered in thick, white, dog fur. Home had a tiny backyard that opened into an alleyway and the Konoha village wall. Home was just seconds from the forests and training grounds. Home was where a special hanging latch was attached to the back gate so Akamaru could let himself out. Home had a frilly, lavender pillow that he had bought just for her.

"_It's over, Inuzuka! How dare you talk to me like that! How dare you lie to me! How dare you-How- How- How _could_ you?" _She had screamed back, tears already falling. She had ignored the pain in his stance and the pleading in his eyes as he yelled filthy words at her.

"How could I let him go?"

_**And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older  
Cause we never really had our closure**_

Kiba's tears had long stopped. He was frozen again, filled with pain and regret. He opened and closed his fists as if unsure they worked.

She was gone, gone before he could say what he meant to say. He had meant to say he was sorry. He had meant to say he was an idiot, and selfish, and horrible, and a bastard. He had meant to say she didn't deserve him, but he would give up everything in the world for her forgiveness. He would give everything to keep her. He had meant to say how much he loved her silky hair and the smell of flowers she radiated, the peace she filled him with.

He had meant to say he loved her.

_**This can't be the end**_

She stared at his smiling face in her hands and she saw again that heart-aching smile that filled her with sunshine. The smile that she fell in love with.

She smiled tremulously as she rose to her feet.

"I can't let him go."

_**I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes**_

He'd give anything to feel her hair run through his fingers. He'd give anything to open his door and see her there. He'd give anything to turn back time and see her smiling up at him. Her eyes loved him, her words loved him, her hands loved him- she loved him. She had said time and time again these past few months that she wanted forever with him.

He rose to his feet and closed his eyes. He could almost smell jasmine in the air, like a dream.

_Please, I just want to open the door and have her there, smiling at me. Please… let today never happen. _He begged silently as his hand rose to the doorknob and the remembered taste of her lips on his.

_**And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me**_

She threw open the door, her hair flying around her face. Akamaru was stretched over the little red couch, his eyes dejected and his whole body slumped with grief. She ran down the hall, not realizing she had ruined the picture by clenching it tightly in her fist.

The bedroom door opened and she looked up into Kiba's haggard face. She could see tear tracks on his cheeks. She had made him cry. Her heart shuddered in her chest with pain.

_I don't deserve him. _She thought as she smiled shakily up at him.

"Kiba-kun… I love you." It was all she could say.

_**I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes**_

It was all he wanted to hear.

His voice broke out as a sobbing groan. His strong arms wrapped around her, rough and painful, as if unsure she could be real. When he felt the soft yielding of her flesh, his embrace became gentle and his nose buried in her silky hair.

His lips ran over her hair, down her brow. His lips traced her nose and pressed against her lips. She kissed back, desperately. She tasted like salt, jasmine, and innocence.

_**And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
**_


End file.
